Shooting our Wounded

I did an interesting little exercise today. I Googled the following question: "Why do we shoot our own wounded?" Nothing about Christians, Christianity, Church or anything like that - just the words why do we shoot our own wounded. Yes I was thinking about it in terms of us Christians, but I did not search with those terms.

And you know what my results were? On the first page, except for one result from a victim support page by the Aussie government, everyone of them was a link from a Christian perspective (blog posts, a sermon and a few hits of lyrics to a song). The sad fact is this is the top hit because it is sadly true.

Most of these blogs touched on how we wound those who have sinned and don't offer healing. Yes this is true. We do get wrapped up in disciple but tend to forget that the Biblical model also allows for restoration of the person (in fact that is the ultimate goal). Jesus is the Good Shepherd and He wants to find all His lost sheep, even the ones who stray.

But I might also add that we tend to wound those who are hurting, but not by wounds due to a sin of our own doing. We pass judgments, make assumptions and draw conclusions based on things about someone's life and then react as if they are a sin and inflict deep wounds on those who are our brothers and sisters in the Lord. We react to the worldly view and assume that is the view the person is taking and treat them accordingly. We are more like the priest and Levite on the road to Jerusalem as we see the Samaritan on the road. We assume, walk by and don't take time to bind up their wounds.

When I came to Christ I was a single woman. For years I was the single girl. I felt the judgments - yes the question seemed innocent: Why aren't you married? But I cannot help but feel that behind it was what is wrong with you? And thoughts that I was some ultra feminist who didn't need a man or maybe even that I was a Lesbian. The truth was I wanted to have that special man and be married. But as much as they might assume I was more in the World, I really wasn't. I wasn't going to do the bar scene and really my only place to meet someone was at church, but that didn't happen for a number of years. God did eventually send me a wonderful man who I am blessed to have has my loving husband. But the wounds from that time of waiting still run deep.

Now that I have joined the ranks of the married, the new judgment is children. Again God has other plans because as much as we have tried that door seems to be shut. Yet I feel new wounds as the judgment is laid down. When are you going to have kids? As if it is my choice. It isn't, God is in control, but the world says otherwise - so my fellow Christians think that I must have chosen to remain childless. There is a stigma of selfishness for the family of two and it stinks. So what do I do? Do I pour out every detail of a very private matter or suffer silently?

My compassion is for my fellow Christians who do not fit the mold. I try not to make assumptions, but wonder how deep are their wounds.